Internet Troll Group Honors And Recognizes James MacArthur
The following is a press release issued by GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA).
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Saturday, December 1, 2012
GNAA Bestows Honorary Membership upon Dr. James MacArthur
Leon Kaiser - Baltimore, MD
Leon Kaiser - Baltimore, MD
Baltimore, MD - GNAA today announced that it had decided to bestow honorary membership upon Dr. James MacArthur, Ph.A.L., after a routine GNAA board meeting was interrupted with the news of his struggle against the Baltimore Police Department.
While initially police officers were sent to Dr. MacArthur's home in response to a missed court date, the Baltimore Police Department appears to have taken some allegedly threatening comments made on popular microblogging website Twitter as an excuse to send a team of heavily-armed SWAT members to intimidate Dr. MacArthur into surrendering both his First and Second Amendment rights, leading to a standoff lasting more than five hours. After a heart-wrenching series of events, Dr. MacArthur remained true to his word and turned himself in peacefully.
During the ensuing standoff, Dr. MacArthur broadcasted a live audio feed from the imperiled safety of his home, during which Dr. MacArthur streamed his lengthy discussion with police negotiator Lt. Jason Yerg, in which both parties remained remarkably calm and civil. During his long conversation with Lt. Yerg, Dr. MacArthur vividly described his disillusionment with the Baltimore Police Department's competence and effectiveness. At one point, Dr. MacArthur thoroughly depicted his frightening experiences as a black man living in Baltimore, most notably recalling the time when a hitman knocked on his door after mistaking his address for the one next door. Dr. MacArthur's next-door neighbors were found dead in their home the next morning.
"I'm honored to be considered a member of GNAA," Dr. MacArthur belched, downing the remainder of his forty-ounce bottle of King Cobra malt liquor, "I'll need all the help I can get in the coming days. That is, if I make it out of this alive."
"My soul is prepared. I will see God. It's about to be over." Dr. MacArthur slurred, opening another bottle of malt liquor with his enormous calloused hands, "Please someone help me. Walls closing in. The polive have found me."
"While normally we would condemn Dr. MacArthur for being a blogger, we have found that Dr. MacArthur's blog is a touching and dedicated account of the struggles of the Baltimore Negro community," GNAA founder and CEO Gary Niger explained, "and as such, we feel that Dr. MacArthur not only meets, but by far exceeds our definition of 'extraordinary blogger'."
"We feel that by praising Dr. MacArthur's blog," GNAA representative Brandon Vedas explained, "we reiterate that our stance on blogging is not an entirely negative one. Dr. MacArthur is a spectacular example of a 'good blogger'. That being said, the quality of Dr. MacArthur's blog is an incredibly rare pearl lying in the darkest depths of the immense sea of mediocrity known as the 'Blogosphere'."
GNAA will hold an unexpected board meeting early next week to decide whether or not Dr. MacArthur's dedication merits the awarding of a "Purple Phallus" award.
About Dr. James MacArthur Ph.A.L. :
With a reputation as a freedom fighter and true patriot, Dr. A.F. James MacArthur has become the undisputed champion of bringing Baltimore's Negro community objective, professional, up-to-date coverage of the corruption and incompetence rampant in the Baltimore Police Department, and the out-of-control crime being committed on its streets. With a well-earned reputation as a bastion of journalistic integrity, known for his extensive and insightful coverage of (and commentary on) urban decay and public corruption. Having shown time and time again that he is not afraid to get his hands dirty in order to bring Baltimore's Negro community a more thorough story, Dr. MacArthur truly is Baltimore's premier independent crime correspondent and street reporter.
