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UPDATE -- MARCH 4 -- Conn. Chimp Attack Update -- Victim Could Die


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UPDATE: Monkey: Chimp Attack Victim Speaks Out!

UPDATE: Holy Ape Sh*t! -- Chimp Attack Victim Clinging To Life

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In an attempt to maintain whatever little journalistic integrity this site may have ever had, I have been advised to execute a moratorium on crazed ape stories. After speaking by phone with Editor In Chief, T.R. Mencken vacationing in Brasil, I was afforded a compromise.

For all the monkey lovers, I've put together a special picture gallery. Here you can see Travis in all his glory, with a few bonus pics of some other apes thrown in.

New details have emerged in the aftermath of the ape attack. The attack victim had most of her face ripped away. She is also reported to have lost all of her fingers as they were so badly bitten.
We learned after Travis was shot by the police officer he attacked, Travis limped away to his playroom where he crawled back in his cage and died.

Travis' mom, who had a license to keep him, had previously claimed he was completely domesticated. 'He loves baseball. He likes anything with action (I bet he does). If I cry, he'll lick my tears,' she said. Angry family members have reportedly been calling up Travis' mom yelling, screaming and threatening her for being responsible for the monkey's death.


In summary, here's a few fun facts on Travis the killer ape;

• Travis was potty trained and could log on to a computer, and use the TV remote to change channels.

• He could brush his teeth

• He was able to dress himself and drink wine from a glass
  

• Travis starred in several TV commercials including; Old Navy & Coca Cola

My apologies to you for all of the monkey posts. There will be no more for the time being. I think today I might have gone just a little bananas. ;-)


--AFJM

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Original Story: Monkey Tuesday! Chimp Bites Woman, Police Kill Chimp